FROM THE NEWS-LEDGER — AUG 27, 2014:
Chuck Norris jokes, which riff on the martial arts star’s invincibility, may be old. But they’re still funny. Here are a few for your amusement:
— There used to be a street called “Chuck Norris Avenue.” But they had to change the name, because no one crosses “Chuck Norris” and lives.
— Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his living room. It’s not dead — it’s just afraid to move.
— When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
— Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
— Chuck Norris uses a stunt double- — for crying scenes.
— Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
— Chuck Norris can watch ’60 Minutes’ in only 25.
— If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris still has more than you.
— Chuck Norris doesn’t climb trees, he just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
— Superman and Chuck Norris once held a wrestling match on a bet: the loser had to wear his underpants on the outside.